كاتب الموضوع :
cocubasha
المنتدى :
الارشيف
Hey Girls
Rima, I am so sorry. I didn't knowthat I upset you. I know that when I am talking about sth and projecting some of ideas i feel strongly, i tend to use words like, whatever, couldn't care less and i don't care....... Truth is that it is some way i created to shut my head down for a moment and concentrate on what i am thinking... Actually, I say I don't care and I want to not care and I belive I don't care but you know what?................ I Care
Look, I may be younger but I experienced so much and I was too afraid to speak up my mind. I wanted to shout with my opinions and to be heard and taken seriously but i was afraid that i won't be loved. that people in my life won't appreciate my honesty. God I was scared I'll end up alone if I said my opinion which have almost always the other. the different one from the rest. but thatnk God, i found the courage to speak up and not let people take me for granted and look down at me. And i finally knewhow to do it. I cared too much about what everyone would think of me yet i discovered that they never cared about my feelings as well. I was always a nice girl and finally i discovered that being nice was overrated. I can be strong and opinionated and still be nice but i have to be me or i'll end up losing myself for the sake of peole around me.
I still care about them and love them but I speak up and I am ME. When I say i am who i wanted to be and i don't care what people think, it's just a way to self-protecting rima. Because I still care and it'd hurt me so bad if someone said they don't like me. May be somewhere inside i am still this insecure little girl who just want everybody to love her. who want her parents to love her and be proud of her. she wants to be perfect. to be ideal but it's too hard cause nobody's perfect and so is she. so i am sorry if i hurt you, i didn't know
Just the next time I say sth close to, I Don't Care, know that i am only saying it so i can express my opinion. Know that I care about you and all my friends. You're so precious to me, u have no idea how i depended on your friendship for the past time in my life. I don't get to be close and this open with anybody. May be cause we're writing it and it's not face-to-face but still, this is the only place i get to be myself.
Anyhow, again sorry rima and all of you girls if i ever said sth to hurt you or upset you and know for sure it wasn't on purpose and you mean so much to me to do sth like that
Love ya always
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11-01-09, 08:45 PM
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