Chapter Seven
'Good, I'm glad you like it. I'll get someone to help you with your
luggage.'
'Marcus, this is gorgeous,' Lucy told him as soon as they were alone.
'Very romantic. Especially with the fire.' She moved towards him. She
had been so on edge and filled with guilt last night, following
Dorland's revelations, that she had not dared let him hold her in case
she broke down and sobbed the whole thing out on his shoulder. But right
now she was aching for him so much. Why didn't she just put the whole
sorry episode of Andrew Walker behind her and enjoy being with Marcus
instead?
'Mmm. Look, we'd better get a move on. It took us slightly longer to get
here than I expected.'
Marcus was turning way from her, ignoring her subtle hint that she would
like him to take her to bed. She recognised the signs easily. After all
she had experienced them often enough at Nick's hands.
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'Lucy!'
Lucy forced herself to smile as Julia hugged her tightly, and grinned.
'You're here! Oh, I am so excited. And Marcus too. Let me see the ring.
Oh, Lucy! Of course Silas insists that he always felt there were some
pretty strong undercurrents going on between you and Marcus-don't you,
darling?' Julia appealed to her husband.
'Well, let's just say that your sex doesn't always have an exclusive
hold on intuition, does it, son?' Silas addressed the blue-wrapped
bundle he was holding mock-solemnly. 'Actually it was Lucy who gave the
game away, to be honest. It's so rare to see you getting wound up about
anything or anyone, Lucy, that I couldn't help but wonder if there was
something else going on when you kept on insisting that you hated
Marcus. And, as we all know...'
'Hatred is akin to love,' Julia chimed in with Silas, and they exchanged
amused looks.
Lucy could feel her face starting to burn. Hastily she reached out her
arms and begged, 'Silas, please let me hold my new godson-to-be.'
'He's heavy, Lucy,' Julia warned her, suddenly all proud mother, wanting
them to recognise her still tiny son's promise of adult male strength to
come.
'Carry rang just before you arrived, by the way. She and Ricardo should
be here soon. You know that they've rented a house in the village for
the weekend?'
'Yes, she e-mailed to tell me.'
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'I'd have liked to offer you all room here, but we've already got my
family, and Silas's descending on Gramps tomorrow. Are you sure my son
isn't getting too heavy for you?' she demanded. They were all standing
in the large, slightly draughty drawing room Julia had taken them to,
and, sensing that her friend was already eager for the return of her
baby, Lucy smiled down at him, stroking his cheek gently with her finger
as she walked over to Julia and handed him back.
Marcus was standing with Silas, supposedly listening to what Silas was
saying about the current situation with the dollar, but he couldn't stop
himself from watching her. Julia might be baby Nat's mother, but it was
Lucy, with her doting, blissed-out expression, whose face was that of a
traditional radiant Madonna-all soft, beatific love. There was a feeling
in his heart as though it were being wrenched apart by two giant fists.
Angrily he struggled to suppress it.
As she handed Nat back to Julia, Lucy couldn't help reflecting
desolately that if Marcus continued to behave as coldly towards her as
he had done earlier, in their hotel suite, then if she wasn't already
pregnant she would probably never hold a child of her own. What was it
about her that made her so undesirable and so undesired by the very men
who were supposed to want her? First Nick and now Marcus. She looked
over to where Marcus was standing with Silas, the two men deep in
conversation.
'Lucy, come and sit down,' Julia invited, patting the empty space on the
sofa next to her.
'I'm so glad about you and Marcus.' She beamed as Lucy obeyed her
instruction. 'I know how unhappy Nick made you, and I've felt so guilty
about that because you met him through me. Marcus will-' She broke off as a
large Mercedes swept past the window, then exclaimed happily, 'Oh, good,
that will be Carly and Ricardo.'
Five minutes later the large room was full of the sound of warmly
excited female voices as the three women exchanged news and gossip.
'Just look at how much he's grown,' Lucy exclaimed in awe as she admired
Carly and Ricardo's son before adding, 'And look at you, too, Carly-six
months pregnant and yet you look as stunning and elegant as ever.'
With so much to say to one another, and two adorable babies to admire,
Lucy started to relax, her earlier forced smile giving way to one that
was far more natural. So much so, in fact, that when Marcus came over to
where she was seated with Carly and Julia and the children, and placed a
hand on her shoulder, she had to tense her whole body to stop herself
from leaning into him and letting him see how much he meant to her.
'I am so looking forward to the wedding, Lucy,' Carly announced
excitedly. 'After all, you're the only one of the three of us to have a
proper regulation do.'
'Oh, yes, I'm looking forward to it, too,' Julia chimed in. 'When did
you first realise you loved Lucy, Marcus?' she asked him.
Lucy immediately dipped her head, so her hair swung forward to conceal
her expression.
'Not soon enough,' Marcus responded calmly. 'If I had, she would never
have been allowed to marry Blayne.'
Everyone laughed, and Lucy let her pent-up breath leak away in shaky
relief. What had she been afraid he might say? That he didn't love her
at all? Marcus was far too cerebral to make a slip like that.
'That was a very pleasant evening.' 'I'm glad you enjoyed it,' Lucy
replied as the lights of
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Julia's grandfather's house were left behind them and Marcus's Bentley
purred softly onto the main road.
'I'm even more convinced now, if we are going to think of buying a house
outside London, that this would be a good area to consider. What do you
think?'
'Like I said before, it is a very pretty part of the country,' Lucy
agreed. 'And Julia did say that she and Silas are hoping that ultimately
they will be spending more time here. Of course when Julia's grandfather
dies Silas will inherit the title and the house, but they both want
their children to grow up knowing their English heritage as well as
their American heritage.'
She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. It had been a good
evening, with the three men getting on as well as the women did
themselves. There had even been whole moments when she had almost
managed to persuade herself that she and Marcus were a normal soon-to-be
married couple.
She certainly wished that they were. Just as she wished that right now
they were going back to their hotel suite as genuine lovers who just
couldn't wait to be alone together.
Lucy had fallen asleep within minutes of them leaving her friends, and
as he brought the car to a halt in the hotel car park Marcus turned in
his seat to look at her. He would be glad when she was safely married to
him and he could once again focus his attention on the bank, instead of
constantly having to be on his guard in case Lucy tried to change her
mind and refuse to go through with their marriage.
He reached out and touched her arm, saying calmly, 'Lucy-wake up. We're
here.'
'Marcus?' Emotion illuminated her whole face as she looked back at him.
Suddenly Marcus felt as though he
had been kicked in the chest and deprived of the ability to breathe.
Something-a feeling-a need-roared through him, threatening to blast
apart the fixed standing stones of his beliefs.
Oblivious to what was happening to him, Lucy continued sleepily, 'I was
just dreaming about you and...'
'And?' Marcus probed, his voice rusty as he fought back an unfamiliar
urge to take hold of her and go on holding her, so that he could satisfy
his need to physically experience the reality of her.
'Nothing.' Lucy shook her head, but she could feel her face going a
betraying shade of pink. It was obvious that Marcus had guessed just
what she had been dreaming, too, because all of sudden there was a very
definite gleam in his eyes.
'Do I take it from that pretty pink flush that it was the kind of dream
I would enjoy turning into reality?' he asked, as his own body responded
to the desire he could see in her eyes.
It took Lucy several speeded-up heartbeats to recognise that Marcus was
actually flirting with her, and several more to take a deep breath,
jettison her pride and answer him boldly. 'Well, I would certainly enjoy
you doing so, Marcus. Marcus!' she protested breathlessly, as suddenly
he kissed her so fiercely that she could hardly breathe.
'Come on,' he commanded, releasing her and then getting out of the car
and going round to open the passenger door for her.
Their journey from the car to their suite was accomplished in between so
many kisses that Lucy felt half delirious with desire by the time they
reached their room. Holding her within one arm, Marcus continued to kiss
her while he inserted the key in the lock and turned the handle.
A fire was burning in the hearth, the maid had been up
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and closed the curtains, and the room itself smelled of pine logs and
warmth and intimacy.
'Marcus...' she whispered eagerly.
'Mmm?'
'Hurry.'
'Like this, do you mean?'
He was touching her, despite the fact that they were both still fully
dressed, so that her whole body convulsed.
'My clothes...' she protested, wanting to be rid of them. But her body
was telling Marcus that it didn't want to wait-and, he realised
fiercely, neither did his own.
He took her quickly and hotly, there and then, in the shadowy bedroom,
compelled and driven by his need to possess her and make her his in a
way that was totally outside anything he had ever previously experienced.
She loved what he was doing-and the way he was doing it, Lucy thought
dizzily as she wrapped her legs around him and felt the swift surges of
pleasure grip her. Later there would be time to undress, to pleasure one
another more slowly and thoroughly, but right now this was exactly what
she wanted and how she wanted it. How she wanted him.
She still couldn't fully take it in that that a few weeks from now she
would actually be Marcus's wife. Lucy took a gulp of her espresso and
reminded herself sternly that the reason she was here in her office was
to work, and not to think about the many and varied pleasures of
becoming Mrs Marcus Carring. Pleasures which, right now, were
suppressing the doubts that had been tormenting her. It was, after all,
an undeniable truth that those pleasures were so many and so varied that
it was almost impossible for her not to fantasise about them. And so...
Hastily she forced herself to concentrate on what she
was supposed to be doing-namely, updating her client files and dealing
with her other paperwork. The slow trickle of new business had now
become a sporadic drip- little more than sympathy and family-generated
events. Which was a problem, of course, so far as securing enough future
income to finance her Pret a Party debts was concerned, but not so much
of a problem when she thought of the amount of time it would free up for
her to get used to being married. In fact, if it wasn't for the wretched
debts Nick had left her, she could have been very happy, slowly
rebuilding her business on a much smaller and more containable scale.
Lucy had another gulp of her favourite caffeine fix and idly scanned the
huge double-page spread of photographs from Nat's christening which,
true to form, Dorland had used as his centrepiece for that week's A-List
Life. There was one especially good photograph of her holding her new
godson, with Marcus standing at her side.
Marcus. She was doing the right thing in marrying him, she told herself
firmly.
There was a loud knock on her half-open office door and she swung round
eagerly, hoping to see Marcus, although he had told her that he was
driving to Manchester today to see a client.
'Lucy. Good, I hoped you would be here.'
Andrew Walker.
Lucy stared at her unexpected and definitely unwanted visitor in
apprehensive dismay, unable to say anything more than an uncomfortable,
'Oh! Andrew. You did get my letter, didn't you?'
'Yes, Lucy. I got your letter,' he confirmed, walking past her to stand
in front of the window, so that her expression was plainly revealed to
him whilst he was just a fuzzy dark blur against the sunlit windows.
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'I was very sorry to learn that you no longer wanted to proceed with our
plans. In fact I was so disappointed that I thought I'd come and see you
to see if I could find a way to persuade you to change your mind.'
Was she imagining it, or was there a subtle threat in those calmly
spoken words? Lucy could feel the sharp hammer-blows of her heartbeat as
it mirrored her fear.
'I explained in my letter, Andrew. I'm getting married and-'
'Yes, indeed. To Marcus Carring, I believe.'
'Yes,' Lucy acknowledged. 'Yes. And once we are married Marcus wants to
become my partner in Pret a Party.' That should convince Andrew Walker
that it wasn't just her he had to contend with now, even if she was in
reality fibbing to him.
'Really?'
There was something in the way Andrew Walker was looking at her that
made Lucy feel afraid.
'You know, my dear, you are turning down a wonderful business
opportunity here. And as for allowing your husband to be to become your
partner... One never knows these days what the future of a marriage will
be. Modern marriages are such very flimsy constructions at the best of
times, don't you think? A sensible woman might think it a good idea to
maintain her own financial independence from her husband.'
Lucy only just managed to stop herself from gasping out loud. Had Andrew
Walker somehow read her mind? What he had just said echoed everything
she had been saying to herself.
'My partners and I are prepared to make you a very generous offer to buy
into Pret a Party, Lucy, and I can give you my assurance that everything
will be dealt with very discreetly. The cash could be paid into an overseas
bank of your choice, should you want that, and no one apart from
ourselves need ever know anything about the whole transaction.'
If she hadn't known the truth about him she would have been very tempted
to accept what he was offering her, Lucy recognised. Because, despite
the fact that Marcus physically desired her, her fear that without love
their marriage could not survive would not go away. It was that fear
that had prevented her from accepting Marcus's offer of finance and his
suggestion that he came into the business, and that fear, too, that made
her want to keep Pret a Party under her own control and not share it
with a husband.
But Andrew Walker's statement had reminded her of everything Dorland had
said to her.
'No, I suppose they needn't-including those poor wretches whose lives
you've ruined to get the money in the first place,' she burst out
impetuously. 'I know all about why you want Pret a Party, you know-and
what you're doing.'
There was a small, tight silence and then Andrew Walker said sharply,
'Do you indeed?'
She had made another mistake, Lucy realised. And a very bad one.
How had she ever thought of Andrew Walker's face as nondescript and
pleasant? Now, as he came towards her, she could see the real Andrew
Walker instead of the kindly mask he had hidden behind.
Dorland had been right. This was a very bad man. Fear pooled in her
stomach and her muscles tightened round it.
Exactly the same feelings of sick disbelief and fear she had experienced
when she had first learned of Nick's treachery were coiling through her
stomach now. And, exactly as it had been then, her first thought was
that she wished desperately that Marcus were her to help her. Her
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second was that she was equally desperately glad that he wasn't here to
witness her stupidity.
And yet she was still unable to stop herself from repeating shakily, 'I
do know all about how you and your partners make your money, and why you
want Pret a Party.'
'You know, Lucy, you really shouldn't listen to gossip from jealous and
unreliable sources,' Andrew Walker told her evenly. 'Why don't you take
my advice and think a little bit harder about our offer, and about
letting Marcus Carring become your partner? That wouldn't be a very good
move, and my colleagues would certainly not be pleased were you to do
that. After all, as I just said, nothing is certain in this
life-especially not marriage. You've been married once already, and-'
'I won't listen to any more.' Lucy stopped him passionately. 'There
isn't any point in you trying to pressure me by offering me money. I
don't want it and I won't change my mind.'
'Are you sure you're doing the right thing marrying Carring, Lucy?'
His question caught her off guard.
'Yes, of course I'm sure,' she lied. 'I love him.' That much at least
was the truth. 'In fact I've always loved him,' she added defiantly.
She could see that her declaration had not pleased him. He doubtless
knew that he would not be able to deceive and bully Marcus the way he
had tried to do her.
'I'd advise you to think very carefully about what I've just said,' he
told her sharply. 'Oh, and I wouldn't tell Marcus Carring about our
conversation if I were you-for your own sake and for his.' Andrew Walker
ignored her attempted reply to that, and stepped past her to open the
office door. 'I shall be in touch.'
He'd gone. He'd actually gone. Lucy felt sick with relief. When she
attempted to stand to go and lock her office door, to make sure he
couldn't come back, her legs simply would not support her.
She would have to close down Pret a Party completely now, she decided
shakily. She couldn't think of any other way to protect both herself and
her business.
When Marcus questioned why she was giving up the business she had fought
so hard to keep going, she would simply have to tell him that she had
been giving the matter a great deal of thought and that she wanted to
concentrate on them-their marriage and their future together.
Lie to him. in other words.
The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach increased.
But what other choice did she have? How could she tell him the truth
now? If she told him he would stand there and look at her the way he had
when she'd had to tell him that Nick had not just been unfaithful to her
but that he had also defrauded the business. With angry disbelief, with
irritation and with contempt. She just did not think she could bear that.
'It's supposed to be bad luck for you to see me in my outfit before we
get married, you know,' Lucy reproached Marcus.
Marcus had just let them both into his house, having picked up Lucy from
her parents' home earlier.
'You aren't in your wedding outfit,' he pointed out. 'At least, not
unless you've changed your mind and you intend to marry me wearing jeans.'
'Don't be silly. I'm not wearing the dress now, but I was when you came
round.'
'I didn't see you in it, though,' Marcus assured her, but Lucy could see
that he had his fingers crossed behind his
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back, and she couldn't help but smile, albeit a little bit wanly. These
last few weeks had been so stressful.
'Cheer up-it will soon be over now,' Marcus told her as though he had
somehow guessed how she felt. 'And then once we're on honeymoon you'll
be able to relax.'
Lucy exhaled heavily and told him emphatically, 'I can't wait.'
There was a small potent silence during which her colour rose. She saw
the way Marcus was looking at her, and then he said obliquely, 'No, I
don't think I can either.'
Silently they both looked at one another.
'It's been a very long few weeks,' Lucy told him breathlessly. The look
she had seen in his eyes was causing her heart to jerk about inside her
chest as though he was holding it on a string.
As he stood watching her Marcus was suddenly aware of a most peculiar
emotion filling him and driving him. A need-a compulsion, almost-to take
Lucy in his arms and keep her there, whilst he...
He shook his head, trying to dispel the unfamiliar emotions that were
gripping him. 'Why don't we...?' he began slowly, and then frowned as
they were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell being rung. He went
to open the door and, while Lucy watched, took a package from the
waiting courier and signed for it.
'Do you want to make us both a drink while I check to see what this is?'
he asked her.
She just couldn't resist the temptation to look at him, Lucy admitted to
herself as she lingered to watch him as he began to open the package.
When he did so, removing the *******s and studying them, a couple of
photographs slid free and fell onto the floor.
Automatically Lucy went to pick them up.
'No-don't touch them. Leave them.'
The harshness of his grim command instantly reminded her of the old
Marcus. 'What-?' she began, and then stopped as she stared down at the
floor and the photograph that was lying there face upwards.
She had heard of the expression 'her blood ran cold", but she had never
until that moment imagined she might experience it as a physical
sensation-as though the warmth of her blood was draining away to be.
replaced with something that felt like ice.
'Marcus...' Her voice a shocked, disbelieving whisper of anguish, she
looked from the photograph to his unreadable face and then back to the
photograph again.
On it her own face stared back at her: her mouth smiling, her eyes open,
alight with excitement and delight. And the reason for that delight was...
She looked at the photograph again and her stomach heaved. Her body was
naked, her arms and legs spread, held down by four sets of male hands,
whilst a fifth man was positioned between her spread legs, obviously
having sex with her.
Like someone in a trance, she bent down and picked up the other photograph.
'Lucy! No!'
Marcus made a lunge to stop her, but he was still holding the *******s
of the package. Ignoring him as though she hadn't even heard him, Lucy
turned over the second photograph. This one was even worse.
She looked at what Marcus was holding. More photographs and a video.
There was a picture of her on the front
of the video. The caption on it read!
Lucy felt her stomach heave.
She ran to the bathroom and was immediately and violently sick.
Shivering with disgust, she clung to the basin and turned on the taps,
washing her face and then cleaning her teeth. She wanted to tear off her
clothes and stand under the hottest, hardest shower she could find. She
wanted to scrub at her skin and somehow remove the filth she could
almost feel clinging to her.
'Lucy.'
Marcus was standing in the open doorway to the bathroom, an expression
in his eyes that she distantly thought looked like pain, but which she
knew must be disgust.
'It isn't me,' she told him, slowly and carefully, fixing her gaze on
the far wall so that she didn't have to look at him and see in his eyes
what she knew would be there. If he had looked at her before with
irritation and contempt, that was nothing to how he would be looking at
her now. 'I know it looks like me, but it isn't.'
Silence.
What had she expected? That he would sweep her up into his arms and tell
her that he loved her? After seeing that?
'You won't want to marry me now, of course. How could you?' She was
amazed at how calm and accepting she sounded. How reasoning and
distanced from the wild, shrieking agony of pain and disbelief inside her.
'I'd better go home and tell everyone.' How was she managing to sound so
polite? So much as though she were attending a formal tea party at her
great-aunt's rather than experiencing, enduring what she was going through?
She certainly felt as cold as though she were at her
great-aunt's, she admitted, as her teeth started to chatter and rigours
of icy cold gripped her body.
'Lucy.'
Marcus's hands felt so warm as they cupped her face, and his body was so
reassuringly close, even though she hadn't even seen him cross the space
between them.
'Please don't,' she begged him piteously, as her body caved in to her
shock and tears welled in her eyes to roll down her face. 'Please don't
make it harder for me, Marcus. I know what you must be thinking, and how
you must feel.'
'Do you?' he demanded, so savagely that she flinched. 'No, I don't think
you do,' he told her harshly, 'I don't think you can know how I feel
knowing that you have been exposed to this kind of...of filth. That you
have been dragged into it and degraded by it.'
'Marcus, I haven't. It isn't me. Please believe me. It isn't.' She
couldn't hold back the words any longer, even though she knew he would
not and could not possibly believe her. Not with the evidence of those
horrible photographs.
She could see how darkly he was frowning at her, probably thinking she
was compounding her guilt by lying about it.
'I know it isn't you,' he said, with an almost dismissive shrug. 'It's
obvious that it couldn't possibly be you. How could it be?'
He believed her?
'You...you know that it isn't me?" Lucy repeated cautiously, afraid to
trust in her own hearing.
'Yes, of course I know it isn't you,' Marcus replied, with familiar
sharp impatience.
'But how? How can you know?' Lucy asked him shakily.
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'Apart from anything else, you have a small but very identifying mole,
high up on the outside of your left thigh,' Marcus told her calmly. 'And
whoever posed for the body shots for this-this abomination doesn't.'
'Oh!'
How very weird that the most important thing in her whole life should
hang on the existence of one tiny brown mole; that something not much
larger than a pinhead could make the difference between happiness for
the rest of her life or misery until she died-between trust and doubt,
between truth and lies, between being married to Marcus and being
rejected by him.
'It's obvious that someone has superimposed your face on the body of
someone else.'
'But someone else without my mole,' Lucy said, as lightly as she could.
Marcus was frowning at her now.
'The mole is simply a confirmation of what I already know, Lucy,' he
told her coolly. 'My own judgement is all I need to know that you could
never be the woman depicted in those photographs.'
To Marcus's own disbelief he realised that he wanted to reach for her
and hold her; that he wanted to tell her he would kill, breath by
breath, painfully and slowly, whoever was responsible for what had
happened; that he wanted to tell her that he knew not just with his
intellect but also with his heart, with the deepest part of himself,
that she would never ever indulge in the kind of scenario the
photographs depicted. He wanted to tell her that he knew that she was a
sensualist, a woman who loved the intimacy of one-to-one lovemaking, a
woman who celebrated her womanhood in the act of sharing pleasure with
just one man.
But how could he be feeling like this? He did not feel
things. He thought through his decisions logically and calmly. He did
not 'sense' them. He did not allow his emotions to sway his judgement.
And, most of all, he did not allow himself to feel his heart turning
over inside his chest in a roll of raw agony because Lucy's pain was his
pain. Because if he did, then that meant-
Angrily he slammed the door against the knowledge he did not want to accept.
'But why would anyone want to do such a thing?' Lucy was asking, giving
him something logical to focus on and deal with. 'Never mind send
those...those things to you?'
'It's probably just someone's idea of a joke,' Marcus told her, intent
on refusing to analyse what was happening to him inside his head. No,
not his head but his heart- that part of him that he had told himself,
when he had finally accepted that his father had deserted them, would in
future only be allowed to operate physically, never emotionally.
'A joke?'
'Yes, it happens all the time." He shrugged his shoulders. 'Young idiots
like your cousin Johnny, for instance, who have nothing better to do and-'
'But, Marcus, something like this isn't a joke,' Lucy protested.
'Look, let's just forget about it, shall we?' Marcus told her briskly.
'After all, we've both recognised it for what it is-at best a stupid,
senseless and very tasteless joke, and at worst a malicious attempt to
damage our relationship.'
'But who would do a thing like that?' Lucy asked, worry crinkling her
forehead.
'Who knows? The best thing we can do now is to ignore it and to forget
it,' Marcus repeated. But he knew he wasn't being entirely open with her.