CHAPTER SIXTEEN
LEAH RODE THE lift up to the penthouse floor of Jason’s building, as she’d ridden it many times before. She had her own private key card these days.
Six months had passed since she’d agreed to become Jason’s girlfriend.
That was what Jason always introduced her as. His girlfriend.
Leah supposed it was a lot better than mistress. Though the tabloids did use that word occasionally.
They had become a rather high-profile couple, their photographs splashed across the gossip pages of magazines and newspapers, especially after she achieved fame in her own right as the face of the Sunshine range of products.
Jason’s new advertising and marketing campaign had proved very successful. Beville Holdings was going from strength to strength, with new management and a new receptionist. Mandy. Leah was now a highly sought-after photographic model, a job she quite liked, but which she suspected would eventually run its course.
Her relationship with Jason seemed just as happy—on the surface. They did go out in public together a lot more, to restaurants and parties and other social functions that Jason was invited to. And she occasionally helped him entertain in his penthouse.
But Jason wasn’t overly keen on the social side of being a billionaire. Often their weekends were quiet, allowing Leah to still visit the hospital on a Saturday, after which she would go home to visit her father, like in the old days. Jason would always join her there and they would stay overnight.
Mrs B. adored him. Her father liked him, too, despite his not offering to become his son-in-law. Jason was a very likable man. Yes, everything seemed okay.
Lately, however, Leah would catch Jason looking at her sometimes with a slight frown in his eyes. Something was bothering him about her. She dared not ask him what the matter was, because she feared the answer.
Was he growing bored with her perhaps?
She’d tried terribly hard not to cling, sensing he’d hate that. And she never told him she loved him. Never ever. Not even when he was making love to her in that long, gentle way he did sometimes, and which totally overwhelmed her with emotion. The way he looked down at her as he rocked slowly in and out of her, often brought the words to her lips.
But she always bit them back. Always!
When the lift doors opened, Leah just stood there for a moment. She could hear voices coming from the depths of the open-plan apartment. She hadn’t expected company tonight. Friday night they usually spent having dinner in the restaurant that occupied part of the floor below Jason’s penthouse, followed by a spa bath, then bed.
Jason hadn’t mentioned anything about having anyone over tonight when he’d called her around lunchtime. The thought of having to entertain some of Jason’s hyped-up business colleagues did not appeal. Leah felt tired. Tired and dispirited. And worried.
With a weary sigh, she hooked her bag over her shoulder and stepped out of the lift.
Jason’s stomach had tightened when he heard the purr of the lift.
It would be Leah, of course. Beautiful, intriguing, enigmatic Leah, coming to spend Friday night with him, as usual.
‘That will be Leah now,’ he said to Bob and Trish. Trish beamed from where she was perched on the edge of a black leather armchair, sipping a celebratory glass of champagne. ‘I haven’t seen Leah in ages. Except on the telly, of course. And on those fabulous billboards.’
‘Those billboards are really something, aren’t they?’ Bob remarked. ‘Have you told Leah about us yet, Jase?’
Jason smiled at his obviously very happy PA. ‘No. I thought we might surprise her.’
Bob had confided to Jason just after lunch at work that he’d popped the question to Trish the previous night, but hadn’t as yet bought a ring. The proposal had been of the impulsive kind. So Jason had given him a hefty cash bonus as an engagement present and sent them both off ring shopping. When Bob had rung him around six to thank him, mentioning that they were on their way to a top city restaurant to celebrate, he’d immediately invited them up to the penthouse for a pre-dinner drink of champagne.
His first thought was to ring Leah, but he’d already rung her twice that day. Telephone calls to Leah were often uncomfortable experiences for Jason. Leah wasn’t like other women, or any other girlfriend he’d ever had.
Even Karen—who was the most independent of women—had liked him to call her often. They’d talked for hours on the phone before they were married.
Leah, however, always cut him short on the phone, saying there was something she had to do, or somewhere she had to go. The only time he got to really talk to her alone was during their Friday night dinners. Even then, she had the knack of keeping their conversation to what had happened that day, never the past, or—heaven forbid—the future!
He glanced up and there she was, looking absolutely gorgeous in a forest-green woollen dress that hugged her body and gave his never-ending desire for her no peace at all. Her hair was up in that soft, sexy style he adored. A gold necklace—not one he’d ever bought her—adorned her lovely throat, matching earrings dangling from her small earlobes. Her perfume seemed to precede her into the room, a teasing tantalising scent that drove him insane.
‘Trish!’ she exclaimed, her beautiful but often too-serious face lighting up when she saw who his visitors were. ‘And Bob! I’m so glad it’s you and not some of Jason’s old cronies.’
‘I don’t have old cronies,’ he protested, and handed her a glass of champagne. ‘I’m not your father.’
‘You certainly aren’t,’ she said as she took it, dropping her handbag on an empty chair. ‘What are we celebrating?’
Trish jumped up from her chair and wriggled her ring finger at Leah. ‘This,’ she said.
‘Oh, my, you’re engaged! How wonderful! And what a lovely ring.’
‘The boss paid for most of it,’ Bob said, and Leah swung round to smile at him. Yet she didn’t really look happy.
Jason wished he could read what it was that made her eyes go like that. So dull and sad. Was she thinking of the time when her husband had given her a diamond ring? Damn and blast, would she ever get over that bastard?
‘That was very generous of you, darling,’ she said.
Jason winced inside. He hated it when she called him darling like that. It was so superficial sounding. So…meaningless.
He wasn’t her darling. He would never be her darling.
What a dismaying thought.
Jason could not pin down the moment he realised he’d fallen in love with Leah. Perhaps it was the Friday night last month when she’d been running terribly late and he hadn’t been able to get her on her mobile. A vicious storm had swept in from the west, bringing heavy rain and hail, along with lightning and thunder. He’d paced the rain-soaked terraces, staring out at the storm and worrying his guts out that she’d been one of the many people already involved in car accidents that night. He’d been on the verge of ringing all the hospitals when she’d finally arrived.
There had been an accident. In the harbour tunnel. She’d been caught right in the middle at the deepest part and her mobile simply wouldn’t work.
Jason recalled feeling physically ill with relief, then being overcome with the need to hold her and make love to her. He’d dragged her down on to the nearest rug and ravaged her, right then and there. He hadn’t even bothered to use a condom. Afterwards, when Leah said she’d have to get a morning-after pill, he hadn’t wanted her to.
But he’d made no objections at the time.
He’d felt frustrated afterwards because he’d used sex to express his love instead of saying it. He still used sex to express his love.
But Leah didn’t seem to want anything else from him!
Karen had told him that one day he’d fall in love again. He hadn’t believed her at the time. But Karen had been a very wise woman. She knew time would heal his grief.
How much time did Leah need, Jason wondered, to heal her grief? How long could he bear loving her and not being loved back? It was becoming increasingly difficult, especially when he saw the way people in love acted together.
Bob and Trish could not stop touching each other, and looking at each other, their eyes full of love, their talk full of plans.
Leah didn’t want to talk about the future at all. She just lived for the day. If he didn’t know the good work she did at that hospital every week, he might have thought she’d become very selfish.
‘We should toast the happy couple,’ Jason proposed. ‘To Bob and Trish.’
‘And to love,’ Trish added, clinking her glass against Bob’s.
Jason saw Leah’s reaction. Instantly negative.
It was another defining moment in Jason’s life, the moment he decided that he could not go on with this relationship. Not the way it was.
Something had to give. He hoped that something would be Leah.
He’s going to break up with me, Leah realised when their eyes met.
Her heart recoiled. So did her stomach.
‘I’m sorry, everyone,’ she said, and swiftly put her glass down. ‘But I…I have to go to the bathroom.’
Leah fairly raced for the guest powder room, only just reaching it before her stomach heaved. It wasn’t the first time that day. Or that week.
A pregnancy test this afternoon had confirmed her fear.
She was going to have Jason’s baby.
Leah knew exactly when it had happened. The night of the storm. She should have gone to the doctor the very next morning. But she hadn’t. She just couldn’t.
And now here she was, having Jason’s child. And he didn’t want her any more.
‘Are you all right, Leah?’ Jason asked from the other idea of the door.
Leah leant a clammy cheek against the cubicle wall. ‘Yes, I…er…must have eaten something that didn’t agree with me. Sorry. I’ll be out in a minute.’
‘Bob and Trish have a booking for seven.’
‘Tell them to go. Please. I might be longer here than a minute.’ ‘Will do.’
Leah stayed in the powder room for five more minutes, not emerging till she knew the coast was clear. The apartment was deathly quiet as she returned to the living room. Jason was standing at one of the largest of the plate-glass windows, his hands in his trousers pockets, his back to her. He could have been just standing there, watching the city lights, but Leah knew he wasn’t. He was trying to find the right words to say to her.
Leah decided to help him out.
‘It’s all right, Jason,’ she said tautly. ‘You can just say it. I won’t make a scene.’
He turned slowly, his handsome face more bleak than she’d even seen it. ‘Say what, exactly?’
‘That we’re finished.’
‘Is that what you want me to say, Leah?’
She could not stop the shudder from running down her spine. ‘No!’
His expression startled her, because it carried surprise. ‘You don’t?’
Leah found her insides dissolving, along with the façade she’d carried all these months. ‘Why on earth would I want you to say that?’ she threw at him. ‘I love you, Jason. I’ve loved you all this time.’
Jason could not believe how angry her declaration made him.
‘Love me?’ he threw back at her. ‘You don’t honestly expect me to believe that, do you? I know what it feels like when a woman loves me, and it isn’t what I feel when I’m with you, madam. You don’t really talk to me, even when we’re together. All you want from me is what we share in bed.’
‘That’s because that’s all you offered me!’ she countered, startling him with her anger. ‘If you think I’ve enjoyed this past six months with you, Jason, then you can think again. It’s been hell, I tell you, pretending not to love you. If you don’t believe me, then I’ve got something I think you should read.’
Read? ‘What?’
‘This.’
He watched in total confusion whilst she walked over and pulled a small black book from her handbag. He almost dropped it when she tossed it at him from a distance.
He stared at the cover. ‘It’s a diary.’
‘Yes. Mine. I wrote in it whenever the pretence became too much for me.’
‘But why in heaven’s name would you think you had to pretend?’ he asked.
She shook her head in a highly agitated fashion. ‘And I thought you were an intelligent man. Because you told me right at the beginning that you couldn’t possibly love me back, that’s why!’
‘Yes, I did, didn’t I?’ he murmured, his heart catching as he read the first entry. It was dated back in February.
I must remember never to tell Jason that I love him. He’ll break up with me if I do. But I can tell you. I love him. I love him. I love him. Now I must go. He’ll be here shortly for dinner. I can’t wait.
Those last three words touched Jason the most. He flicked on through the pages, searching for last month’s entries, knowing that she was sure to have written something about that night as well.
Yes! There it was.
Dreadfully late getting to Jason’s place tonight. Traffic accident in the tunnel. At first I thought he was genuinely worried about me. That maybe he loved me. But that wasn’t it. He just wanted sex, as usual. On the floor, no less. Without using protection. I wanted to cry afterwards. I almost did when he agreed with my suggestion that I go to the doctor for the morning-after pill. I don’t want to go, but I guess I will. Dear God, it’s cruel to love someone like this…
He looked up, his heart filled to overflowing with regret, and sadness. If only he’d known…
Slowly, however, the realisation of Leah’s love sank in, and an unbelievable joy blossomed in Jason’s chest.
‘She really loves me, Karen,’ he whispered.
Yes, my dearest, he thought he heard her reply.
Undoubtedly, it was only his imagination speaking to him.
But that didn’t matter, because Jason knew Karen would be genuinely happy for him. A generous woman, Karen. A lovely, brave, generous woman.
‘What did you say?’ Leah asked, her eyes widening.
Jason walked slowly towards her. ‘I said I love you, too.’
She blinked. ‘You do?’
‘I do,’ he repeated.
‘Then why on earth didn’t you say so?’
‘For the same reasons you didn’t,’ he explained, cupping her face and looking deep into her frustrated green eyes. ‘I thought you didn’t want me to love you. I thought you still loved your first husband.’
‘But I don’t. And I didn’t say that I did. I just said people usually marry for love. But you, Jason, you definitely said you were still in love with your wife.’
‘I do still love her. But that hasn’t stopped me falling in love with you, Leah. Karen told me before she died that I would find someone else, someone special, someone more my age who would love me and give me children. Karen couldn’t have children, you see. She’d had cancer of the cervix when she was younger.’
‘Oh. But that’s so sad. I didn’t realise she’d had cancer before. The poor woman.’
‘She was an amazing woman. And I did love her. But you are even more amazing, Leah, and I love you madly. Will you marry me and have my children?’
‘Well…yes, of course I will. But…’
‘But what?’
‘Oh, dear. I hope you’re not going to be cross with me.’
‘Out with it, girl.’
‘That night of the storm,’ she blurted out.
‘Yes, I just read that bit.’
‘I…er…I didn’t go to the doctor the next day.’
‘And?’
‘I took a pregnancy test today, and it was positive.’
Once Jason got his head around the fact that he was already a father, he could not contain his delight.
‘Leah, that’s fantastic!’ he cried, hugging her to him. ‘I couldn’t be happier. A baby. Already.’ He pulled back to hold her by the shoulders. ‘We’ll get married as soon as possible. And we’ll go house hunting. I know how much you hate this place.’
‘It’s not so bad,’ she said. ‘I’ve gotten used to it. But not quite the place to raise children. You don’t just want one baby, do you, Jason? I want at least two.’
‘Have as many as you like.’
Tears filled Leah’s eyes. ‘I can’t believe everything has turned out all right,’ she said, still half-fearful of such happiness. ‘I thought tonight was going to be the end.’
‘Never. I was going to make you marry me, whether you loved me or not.’
Leah blinked back her tears. ‘Really? How?’
‘I have no idea. Bribery and corruption. No, probably persuasion and negotiation. That’s what I’m best at. I would have worked out what you wanted more than me and given it to you in exchange for a ring on your finger. Which reminds me. First thing tomorrow we’re going ring shopping. And I’m going to buy the biggest, flashiest, most expensive diamond ring in Sydney.’
Leah laughed. ‘Has it been very hard on you, my telling you not to buy me anything over a hundred dollars?’
‘Extremely. Now that I’ve been let off the hook, I’m going to go crazy, buying you things.’
‘There is something which you could buy me. Two things, actually…’
‘I’ll get them for you tomorrow. Tell me.’
Leah smiled. Buying her mother’s house would not be achieved in a day. But Leah was sure her father would sell it to them, along with the boat in the boathouse.
How wonderful it would be to raise her family there with Jason by her side as her husband. A real husband this time. A man she could depend on. A man who loved her as much as she loved him.
‘It’s going to cost you a lot of money,’ she said teasingly, knowing her father would drive a hard bargain.
‘Leah, I am a seriously rich man. There’s nothing I can’t buy.’
Except love, Jason realised. That was never for sale. Not true love.
‘You’re going to have to deal with a ruthless negotiator,’ she warned him.
‘I can be pretty ruthless myself. Look, just tell me who you’re talking about and what it is you want.’
When Leah told him, Jason tried not to smile. Joachim had already expressed the wish on a recent visit to the penthouse that he’d love to live in a place just like it. Clearly, his future father-in-law was ready for a change.
‘Piece of cake, my darling,’ he said, his face breaking into a broad smile. ‘Piece of cake.’
26-10-07, 05:18 PM
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