روزا, riham ali

,you're welcome

.thanx for the support

Chapter Thirteen


Stacey knew before dinner was finished that she'd made a mistake. She should have kept on her office clothes, and insisted if they shared a dinner, that they found the most formal restaurant in the city, one that was full of convivial customers, which would have dispelled any sense of intimacy.

Preparing dinner together had been bittersweet. She remembered the few dinners they'd prepared together after their marriage.

Brushing against Zach today set every nerve on alert. She knew the dangers of getting involved again, but her body had been too long dormant. It craved his touch. She forced down the meal, trying not to think.

Talk during dinner was non-confrontational. It was as if both knew the storm was coming, and wanted to enjoy what they could of the meal.

He asked her how she liked San Francisco. She asked him how Paris was in springtime. At one point she thought she would laugh aloud at how prim and proper they both sounded, when just below the surface, tension seethed.

Finally he lay down his fork, his plate empty. He leaned back on the sofa and Stacey took that as a cue to clear away their plates.

"I can help with dishes if you want," he said.

"Won't take me but five minutes. Want coffee?"

"Don't drink it," he said.

"You don't?" That was surprising.

"Don't want caffeine nerves. I need all I've got to focus on the course when I race."

She swallowed hard, torn between wishing she could see him race, and the fear that ever lurked when she thought about the dangers.

"I'll be right back."

It wasn't fleeing to leave. But it felt like it. For a few moments, she felt safe, as if the coming storm could be averted. As if things could go back to the way they were last week, before Zach's arrival had turned her world upside down for the second time in her life.

She stalled for as long as she could. But when the last plate had been put away and the counter wiped, there was nothing stopping her from returning to her guest.

Zach stood near the window, gazing out. She should have expected that, he never sat still for long, unless they'd been watching a movie. Even then, his attentions seemed to be split between what was on the screen, and her.

Had he spoiled her for every other man? She'd been so overwhelmed by him. Cherishing every moment together, had she forged unachievably high standards that mere mortals could never attain?

He'd had feet of clay. Maybe that was why his leaving had been so hard. Not that she wouldn't have missed him in any other circumstance, but that he could walk away when she thought the sun rose in him, that had been unforgivable.

He turned and watched her enter the room. Stacey felt a pull of attraction she tried to ignore. She was immune to the man. She knew he was not for her. All the wishing in the world over the last seven years had proved that.

"Shall we get it over with?" she asked.

"Get what over with?"

"The discussion. Then you can be on your way and I can get back to my normal life."

"I was serious earlier. I want you in my life. Come with me and see my world. In two weeks I have a race in Spa. Come with me to Belgium."

Chapter Fourteen


Go with Zach to Belgium? He said it as easily as she might ask a friend to go to Los Angeles. But Europe wasn't the same as LA. And he wasn't a friend.

Stacey wasn't exactly sure how she'd classify Zach today. His mere presence set her world on end. And the revelations he'd made had her thinking and reassessing their entire past.

She opened her mouth to reply, but he quickly placed his finger on her lips.

"No, don't answer today. Wait and think about it. I'll ask you again. But until then, just think about it, okay?"

She nodded.

He slipped his hand down and took hers, lacing their fingers.

"Tell me about Stacey Jerome. Who are her friends, what does she like to do when she's not working? Where do you go on vacation? How do you spend the holidays?"

"Talking can't make up the lost years, Zach. Are you seeking a reunion? Where everything comes out perfectly as if the past never happened?"

He shook his head. "The past happened. I caused the rift between us. But don't forget, Stacey, you told me to go and never come back. Those were the very words you said that night."

"After you said you still had a chance to race. I was heartsick over the loss of our baby, and you were glowing with the thought of leaving everything behind to race some stupid cars. I was scared silly. I didn't want you to go."

"Then why tell me to?"

She rolled her eyes and tugged on her hand. He did not release her. Stacey refused to examine why she didn't try harder. She would not admit to liking the feel of his hand around hers even thought it felt good. Right.

"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean a lot of what was said that last night. I was hurting. I expected you to stay with me. Grieve with me. I don't know what I wanted, but it wasn't that you'd leave."

He shook his head. "I'll never understand women. Why can't you just say what you mean?"
"Poor baby, do all your women give you a hard time?" She couldn't keep the scorn from her voice. She could imagine the scene at each race — the pretty women hanging on successful drivers. Sharing the spotlight they couldn't attain on their own. Spending time with him that should have been hers. Seeing the excitement of the races, and reaping the rewards when he won. Jealousy flared. This time she succeeded in pulling her hand free.

"I wouldn't say all," he said, his eyes narrowed slightly. Was there a hint of amusement lurking?

She looked away, angry he wasn't taking the conversation more seriously. "Just most, then." She remembered the frustration, fear and anger of that long-ago night. Would they end up saying things they didn't mean now?
"Mostly you," he said slowly.

"What about the rest of your women?"

"What rest?"

"Are you telling me you never dated in seven years?" she asked in disbelief. Impossible! He was too dynamic, too virile. He could set hearts fluttering by merely walking into a room.

"Have you?" he countered.

Chapter Fifteen


Zach waited for Stacey to answer his question, to laugh and tell him she had dozens of lovers over the past seven years. The seconds ticked by. Her expression moved from stricken to impassive. Her eyes moved to look out of the window. The laughing response never came.

For a moment Zach felt sick. She had not dated in seven years?

"Why, Stace?" he asked gently.

Tears shimmered in her eyes. He felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. He had never meant for any of this to happen. Where had things gone so wrong? With him. He should have called, should have stormed back to Carson Valley and demanded she come with him after that first successful race. He'd had nothing to offer before that. But two years after he'd left, he'd had something to offer. He should have returned to Carson Valley then.

"Stacey?"

"You know the old saying, once burned, twice shy. I just haven't found a man I wish to take a chance with. Besides," she glanced at him with a hint of anger, "I'm married. I need to get divorced before I start dating again."

He nodded. As he should have done. Dammit, he'd screwed up even more than he liked to admit. Would anything have changed if Bart hadn't died? Would he have changed a thing, or continued along until he was old, used up and no good to anyone?

"Do you want a divorce?" he asked. Maybe it would be better if they just ended things now. He could continue on his own way. She'd be free to date. To find someone else. To have that family she once talked about.

"Is there any reason not to get one?"

He couldn't think of a single reason, except he didn't want one. For the first time in years, racing didn't hold center stage in his life. He wanted more.

"I thought we might see where being together leads us. Maybe we don't have enough for a marriage. But should we give up without any effort?"

"Most marriages I know have the husband and wife living together, sharing their evenings, weekends. You are already talking about taking off for Belgium."

"We're not kids anymore, Stacey. We can define our marriage however we want. I do race from March to October. And I practice a lot, to keep reflexes sharp, to test the cars, the different engines and tires. But I can do some of that in California. For the most part, there are only a couple of races each month. I can be here the rest of the time."

"Really? Or would only your body be here, but your mind off on some race course thousands of miles away."

"Would it matter?"

"To me. There's more to sharing a life than sharing an apartment."

"Give us a chance. Give me a chance. Until a week from Wednesday. I'll have to leave for Belgium then. And I hope you'll be coming with me. What do you say?"

She shook her head.

He'd hoped to talk her into giving them a chance. What would it take?

Chapter Sixteen


Stacey couldn't believe what Zach was suggesting. That they give their marriage a try? For a week? How convenient for him. Then he was off to Europe, and she'd be left to pick up the pieces once again.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't let him in for a moment without risking her hard-won peace. Yet, she wasn't sure how to explain that without giving him the idea she might still care.

Another moment passed. Zach watched her. She could feel her skin heat under his regard. Feel the temptation build to take what he offered. No emotions need be involved. He had been vague enough in his suggestion, just see where it led. No commitment.

Not that he'd stick to a commitment once he made it. She knew that.

Unexpectedly, he reached out and cradled her head in his strong hands, tilting her head back a bit to kiss her.

Stacey couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. Only feel, the excitement that invaded every cell in her body at his touch.

Her body clamored for more. She reached up and encircled his neck with her arms, pressing against him, savoring the sensations that exploded. She had loved this man so much when she was younger. For a moment the agony of loss faded. The past faded. Only this moment in time seemed real. For as long as it lasted, she'd hang on for the ride.

His arms drew her closer.

Shivers danced on her spine in contrast to the heat that engulfed her.

"Give us a chance," he whispered in her ear, gently teasing the lobe. "Say yes, Stacey."

"It won't work," she said, hoping he wouldn't stop. She never wanted him to stop. When his hand moved to her waist and caressed the bare skin showing beneath her top, she almost lost her balance. Her knees felt decidedly weak.

"You are so soft. So sweet. I want you. I want my wife."

She was nineteen again, and so in love she couldn't see straight. She loved Zach Taylor, the wildest boy in town. They could conquer the world together. If they ever could break away long enough to do anything but kiss. She wanted to be closer, wanted that connection that only he could bring. But it was false. It was physical only. There was no meeting of the minds, no marriage made in heaven.

In fact their marriage had only been to do the right thing.

Remembering that fact was like a dash of cold water. Stacey pushed against him, freeing herself. She was disgusted at how hard she was breathing, how bereft she felt now that she was no longer in his arms. But this wouldn't solve anything. She needed more. She deserved more.

"Stace," he said, reaching for her again.

"This time I call the shots. If you are serious about wanting to see where this is going, then it will be on my terms or not at all!"